Sibling Rivalry

     Sibling rivalry.  Or in other terms... competition.  Bad or good?  Well, that depends on the motives and attitudes involved, but really, who doesn't like a little friendly competition?

    I have three younger siblings and I would be lying if I said we never competed.  Ever since I can remember, there was always some type of competition going on: who could run fastest, drink the most water, win the race to the top of the stairs.  There were arm wrestling competitions, a competition on who the loudest was, or a contest to see who could hold their breath under water longest.  To be honest, I won most of them.  This makes sense because not only was I the oldest, I had more motivation: a younger sibling besting the older?  I would never hear the end of it.

     Now that most of us have passed our teenage years, we compete with each other less.  Each of us have found our own special niches in the family which was probably determined through sibling rivalry.  Not the best artist?  Two choices: work harder, or find something else to do that others were not as interested in.  Those of us with siblings are really blessed, because as an only child we are less likely to be introduced into various interests.

     My twin sister has her own 3-D printer where she prints plastic objects like decor.  She is a good gardener and she likes sci-fi a bit.

     My brother is our very own computer geek, entrepreneur, and accomplished musician.

     And my youngest sister is an excellent baker, flower gardener, sportsy person.

    So where did I fit in?  I like to garden, but it definitely is not my first choice.  I bake, but my specialty is limited to pies and cobblers.  I am tech savvy to some extent, but I use this intelligence for blogging rather than figuring out the stock market, and would have never thought of owning a 30D printer... I'm also not to great at sports.

    Now, my confession.  I probably could master each of these things as my siblings have but I doubt I would enjoy it as they seem to.  I am the artist among my sibling group, the authoress, the Sunday School teacher, and an aspiring dulcimer player.

    If you are worried about too much sibling competition among your clan, I'd advise you not to (unless of course someone is suffering because of it).  Siblings push us to find what we are good at and to earn our place in the family, so to speak.  Sure, I lost the arm wrestling competitions with my brother as he got older, but he had earned the place in my life as a protector.  My two sisters may have passed me up concerning gardening and athletic skills, but it is fun to have them on my side or eat the fruit of their labor.  Each sibling has their own unique personality, and just because someone says rivalry does not mean sibling fights (though my siblings and I occasionally fought).

    So, what are your thoughts?  Do you deal with sibling rivalry?  Has it pushed you to try new things that you might not have otherwise?  Do you have advice on how to deal with sibling rivalry when it gets out of hand?  I'd love to hear from you!

    Until then, God bless you and thank you for reading.

Perfect Tops

    Most of us want perfection, few of us are willing to work hard enough to reach it.

    Recently, I was working on a craft with some younger children.  We were making spinning tops.  The children got their pieces of wood and set to work coloring.  After putting the wooden pin in the center, they had fun spinning them.

    More children arrived and also wanted to create their own homemade top.  One of the children announced, "It doesn't even matter how you color it.  It looks nice when you spin it."

    It was true, no matter how they colored it, the blur of motion always blended the colors perfectly.  Still, one little boy looked up from where he had carefully been coloring his, and replied, "I am coloring it so that it still looks nice, even when it is not spinning."  The lessons you can learn from children!

    Sometimes we are too busy pretending to be perfect and acting perfect, that we don't realize that we should really be spending time becoming perfect.  We also have to realize that we cannot be perfect on our own, but that it is God makes us perfect.

 2 Samuel 22:33   God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. 

Memories

     Sometimes, we don't undertake projects or certain activities with our children because it will be "too messy".

     I understand.  If you are going to repaint the living room, it might be better to wait until the toddler is down for a nap; or if company will be arriving any minute and you really need to get the cake into the oven, you might do the stirring yourself.

    I am however, a big advocate of including children in the current family project.  Yes, there are some days where I am in a hurry, or that I really don't want another mess to clean up.  Some days, I have to make time.  No one really likes messes, or the cleaning involved that takes place after them.  But when children are making messes, they are learning.

    That is not to say that I am encouraging a child to dump the small potted plant sitting on my counter, but guaranteed, they'll learn something: not do to it again.

    Sometimes, it is hard to let go of that dream that with 3+ toddlers, your house in never going to be quite immaculate.  And if you are anything like me, toys scattered across the bedroom floor or an overturned chair is bound to irk you.  Sometimes, we have to overlook the mess and realize that they are making memories.

     Toddlers and children in general are interested in just about anything you are currently doing.  I think God put this interest there, because He wants them to learn from us.  Truly, they learn so much!  And their eyes are always watching.

     Yesterday, I had my group of toddlers all diaper changed and ready for an afternoon of outside time.  It had rained all the day prior and also that morning, but the sun had finally come out.  I quickly straightened the room, announcing as I did so, that we were going outside.  Some of them were too young to understand, so they ignored me and took out another toy from the shelf.

     On my to pick up a child, I almost tripped over a little boy who was holding someone's shoe is his hand.  "Shoe, Shoe, Shoe!" he kept saying, and I paused long enough to see that he was following one of his friends that had lost a shoe.  When she finally sat down, he hopped over to her and began to help her put the shoe back on.  He couldn't quite do it by himself so I lent him a hand.  After we were finished he proudly stood up and said, "Yay!  Now, outside!"

    The lesson didn't stop there.  He saw another one of the children who had previously ignored me and he went and tapped him on the shoulder.  "Outside."  He then promptly took the toy the child was playing with, shelved it, and proceeded to stand patiently by the door.  Considering that this boy is not yet two, I found it really impressive!

    In this one incident, it showed that he knew several things.

1.  We put our shoes on before we go outside.
2.  We all go outside together.
3.  We have to put away our toys before we move on to another activity.
4.  We go outside, when we are all standing by the door.
5.  It will go faster if I help!

    This was one of the highlights of my day!  :)  His sweet helpfulness made me smile and realize that after weeks and months of modeling this for them, he had observed, learned, and acted.

    What about you?  Do you have any similar stories?  Have your toddlers or children surprised you with the unexpected knowledge that they learned from you?  I'd love to hear about it!  As always, God bless you and thanks for reading.

 

Saying "No" To Negativity

     Sometimes, it seems that the only word you ever say as a parent, or caretaker, is "No." or some other negative.

    "No, you can't have a cookie for dinner."

    "Don't stand in the chair."

    "You can't scream in the store."

    "Don't dump the toys out!"

    I watch several toddlers on a daily basis, and I realize they probably are just as tired of the negatives as I am.  It is frustrating to both of us, and they don't always know how to handle the limitations with the right attitude.  To be fair, sometimes I don't give the limitations with the right attitude.  I tell them not to play in the water, but sometimes it is just because I do not want to have to change them out of their wet clothes.  After all, I already have enough to do without adding more onto my ever growing list.

    I daily have to realize my own selfishness and pray to God to help me overcome it.  Water is a fascinating experience that is fun and educational.  In a child's perspective it is something to explore and familiarize themselves with.  They haven't lived as long as their parents or their caretakers and sometimes we forget how new to the world they still are.  Each day is a new learning experience for them.

    That isn't to say that "No" shouldn't be a part of your vocabulary, but it can be replaced with other words or worded differently.  Taking a look at the above example, let's try to find a way to say each instruction in a different, less negative way:

    "Maybe after dinner." Instead of: "You can't have a cookie for dinner."

    "We need to sit in the chair so we can be safe." Instead of: "Don't stand in the chair."

    "Let's use an inside voice," Instead of: "Don't scream in the store." (Make sure you are modeling it for them.)

    "If you take the toys out, you'll have to pick them all up," Instead of: "Don't dump the toys."  (Just be sure you follow through with it.)

    In this way, we are telling and showing them the right and appropriate action, instead of just telling them that what they are doing is wrong.  We are also showing that there are consequences that they probably didn't think of, and will make them think twice before they do whatever they are thinking about doing.

     What do you think?  Are you tired of constantly saying "no"?  Let's work on rewording our expectations so that they sound less negative and more instructive.

    Thanks for reading!  As always feedback is welcome.

Organic Play Slush

    Greetings!  I haven't updated in awhile, but hopefully I can become more regular with updates.  :)

    Play-dough, moon sand, slime, putty, etc. are always fun to play with.  They are cool manipulatives that can keep children entertained for hours and also fuel their active imaginations.  However, if you have toddlers or child who loves to sample these for their edibleness, you are probably looking for a more organic alternative that won't be harmful if swallowed.

    My favorite, calls only for one ingredient: zucchini.  It is really easy to convert this vegetable into an edible modeling manipulative.  Just puree and squeeze the extra water out.  Children love this!  It is edible, easy to clean, and healthy if your little one does decide to sample it.  This is also a great way to use extra zucchini from the garden.

    You can freeze, and thaw for later play or add it to your compost pile when you are finished.  As always, enjoy and please leave comments below.  I'd love to hear from you!

No Running In The House!

     Most parents have this rule, or a similar one.  Why do parents and older siblings caution the little ones against running in the house?  The reasons are probably endless:

• Our house is too small.
• We have breakable objects.
• The baby is learning to crawl.
• Tear ensue because someone always runs into something or another someone (double the tears).

     If you home school, your children probably spend a good portion of the time at home.  Children have a lot of energy, and unfortunately they cannot always take their energy outside: its raining, the yard is not fenced, its too hot, the mosquitoes are out, my husband just sprayed the weeds, its snowing, etc.  Some moms decide that this battle is not worth fighting and they let their children run in the house as long as they can do it safely and it doesn't get too out of hand (they'll probably outgrow it once they get older, like when they reach their mid-twenties).

     Other moms prefer that their children do not run in the house.  There are some instances when running in the house is acceptable: when the house is on fire, if there is an emergency, if someone is in danger, if you need to vomit, etc.  (feel free to add your exceptions).  It is important that you explain to children when it is acceptable to run in the house.  

     An example:

     When they run pass you while you are folding laundry, ask them if the house is on fire.  This will remind them that they are allowed to run in the house only for specific reasons and not just because they want to be the first one to answer the phone.  :)

    If the children cannot go outside to play, you will have to come up with an activity they can focus their energies on.  Simple exercises like: Touch your head, elbows, toes.  Touch your head, elbows, toes.  Elbows, toes; and other exercises will take the edge off the their energy.  Assign them something to clean or fix: wipe the kitchen table, sweep, peel off stickers, clean out their toy box, etc.  There are a lot of little jobs they can do.

     Having them stop, go back, and walk, will also quickly curb the tendency to run in the house.  After all, it take energy and time to correct a mistake so the best possible avoidance is not to make the mistake to begin with.  

    What about you?  Do you prefer your children to walk in the house, or does it not bother you to let them run off some of their energy as long as they do it safely?  What methods work best for you when teaching your children to walk in the house and not run?  We'd love to hear from you.  As always we look forward to feedback and appreciate you stopping by.  God bless you. 

My Child Hates Reading!

      It isn't uncommon for a child to have difficulty reading.  And really, it is not that the child hates reading, they probably would love to read!  Unfortunately, they are struggling with their frustrations as they learn how to read.  As I was learning to read, I can't say that I particularly enjoyed it either.  In fact, I would make mistakes on purpose, hoping my mom would get tired and consider it a lost cause.

    As you can see, my plan didn't quite work out as I intended it to, but what can you expect from a eight year old?  :)

    I love reading now!  I do it daily, it has become one of my favorite hobbies.  I am really glad that my mom was persistent.

    As a teacher myself, I have helped numerous struggling young readers.  Here are five tips that have helped me make progress with frustrated readers:

• Ease off the pressure.  Children learn to read at different rates, forcing them to become fluent in reading now only serves to frustrate the child further.  Let them learn at their rate, this doesn't mean that there should be no challenge, but if the child is not ready to move onto the next step, stay with it until they are.
• Let the child choose books that interest them, they are more likely to enjoy reading and want to learn if the material interests them.
• Read to them and have older siblings read to them as well.  Children learn a lot just by watching parents and older siblings model skills.
• Have your child help read, write, and copy grocery lists, directions, their name, basic information, colors, etc.
• Phonics is really important (sounds that the letters make), make sure you invest in a good program that teaches this skill thoroughly.  I personally like Abeka Books.

    Don't let reading become frustrating.  If it becomes increasingly difficult, take a break.  Try a different and easier activity.  Reading can be done during the time of day that you have noticed your child doing best in their studies.  Lead up to reading with a fun activity, and follow up with another easy activity.  Planning those difficult lessons between easier ones is rewarding, and it really works.

    What about you?  What have you noticed works best?  How do you get your child to read?