Saying "No" To Negativity

     Sometimes, it seems that the only word you ever say as a parent, or caretaker, is "No." or some other negative.

    "No, you can't have a cookie for dinner."

    "Don't stand in the chair."

    "You can't scream in the store."

    "Don't dump the toys out!"

    I watch several toddlers on a daily basis, and I realize they probably are just as tired of the negatives as I am.  It is frustrating to both of us, and they don't always know how to handle the limitations with the right attitude.  To be fair, sometimes I don't give the limitations with the right attitude.  I tell them not to play in the water, but sometimes it is just because I do not want to have to change them out of their wet clothes.  After all, I already have enough to do without adding more onto my ever growing list.

    I daily have to realize my own selfishness and pray to God to help me overcome it.  Water is a fascinating experience that is fun and educational.  In a child's perspective it is something to explore and familiarize themselves with.  They haven't lived as long as their parents or their caretakers and sometimes we forget how new to the world they still are.  Each day is a new learning experience for them.

    That isn't to say that "No" shouldn't be a part of your vocabulary, but it can be replaced with other words or worded differently.  Taking a look at the above example, let's try to find a way to say each instruction in a different, less negative way:

    "Maybe after dinner." Instead of: "You can't have a cookie for dinner."

    "We need to sit in the chair so we can be safe." Instead of: "Don't stand in the chair."

    "Let's use an inside voice," Instead of: "Don't scream in the store." (Make sure you are modeling it for them.)

    "If you take the toys out, you'll have to pick them all up," Instead of: "Don't dump the toys."  (Just be sure you follow through with it.)

    In this way, we are telling and showing them the right and appropriate action, instead of just telling them that what they are doing is wrong.  We are also showing that there are consequences that they probably didn't think of, and will make them think twice before they do whatever they are thinking about doing.

     What do you think?  Are you tired of constantly saying "no"?  Let's work on rewording our expectations so that they sound less negative and more instructive.

    Thanks for reading!  As always feedback is welcome.