When Less Is More - By Senior Blog Author: Sharron M.

Photo Credit: Peto Vera

 "Alright, we will finish this worksheet of addition and then we'll take a little break."

   "No."

   Did that child just say "no" to me? Yes, he did.

   Now parents, don't lose it. As an educator, I've interacted with hundreds of parents. I've been a cringing witness to irate parents marching to their child, and then, jerking them by the arm, they shout, "You will not talk that way to me! When I tell you something, you better listen." The child then either proceeds to wail as if the world is ending or begin to tantrum. Any other response is usually few and far between.

   I have also admiringly watched parents keep their temper in check, walk to their child and speak quietly in their ear before leading them to a chair to think about what they have done. The child may cry, but the tension isn't palpable, and within a few moments, the child is ready to follow instructions.

   Now, I know that every child is different, and thereby, their reaction to correction will likewise be different. Most of us are familiar with the saying, "For every action, there is a reaction." By not engaging in a power struggle with your child, you control the situation.

   Many a child has simply refused to do the activity I required of them. While I used to feel frustrated and helpful, I now smile at the challenge. That is not to say that I enjoy it, but because I know how to handle it, I am confident.

   Take a deep breath, be patient. "I will wait then until you are ready to finish your work. Then we can move onto something else."

   This approach has worked more often than not. Children have a way of exaggerating time in their mind, an hour may seem like several; their Birthday, not for at least another century.

   While I realize that sometimes as parents, the situation calls for an immediate and sometimes forceful response, this is not always the case. "Emergency" situations are really few and far between.

   When I say "less is more," I mean not arguing with your child, not forcing them to your point of view, and not ranting in your own personal "parent tantrum" where you lose self-control.

   Perhaps, Proverbs 15: 1, says it best, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger."

   Correct a child when you feel calm, and in control of your emotions, if you react out of anger instead of love, your child will be more likely to resent you for it.

   I am not criticizing any of the parents, or their parenting techniques. Perhaps, you found something that works better. In that case, use it. True parents are some of the most patient, giving, loving, dedicated people I know. They have a tough and sometimes thankless duty and responsibility of raising their children up right. All and I can say is, "May God richly bless you!"

   As always, thank you for reading. Have a beautiful day and may you find joy and peace living the life God has called you for.